Is a dream reality or reality a dream....

April 24

Still feeling a little numb and detached today.  I kind of feel as though he’s not telling me the whole story still.  Last night I dreamed we were at his sister’s house, a family get together and his parents lived next door.  We were going between the two houses.  At one point I’d had enough and proceeded to tell them all what I  thought of them.  He left the room.  I told him I wanted to go home and he handed me the keys.  He didn’t support me at all in the dream.  He sided with them and denied everything.  In the dream after I got the keys I left.  When I woke up I didn’t feel too good.  He isn’t standing up for himself.  He lets them walk all over him.  But yet he told lies about me to her and his family and won’t admit to it.  I think there will be no trust until he tells me the truth about what he said to them to make them dislike me so much.  His parents told me some of the things they were told that I was supposed to have done.  Sometimes I wonder if getting back together  was the right thing to do after finding out he moved in with another woman.  Would it have been easier to get over missing him and wanting him.  On one hand I love him and am in love with him but on the other side it still hurts so bad knowing he lied and broke our vows.  He couldn’t keep his commitment until the bond was legally broke.  He told me he loved and missed me whenever he would come to pick up our son.  But he always went home to her.  I’m just so confused.  I don’t know what to think, where to turn or who to trust.  I don’t trust his family and that’s sad.  I’ve always believed that if you talk about someone behind their back then say it to their face too.  If you can’t then don’t say anything.  Never lie to make yourself look better.  Take responsibility for your actions.  It makes things so much easier.  How on earth can he and I move ahead if his family is keeping her and the bike around.  Are they trying to separate us, is that part of her plan.  All I know for sure is that I am insecure and worried.  I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t reach him.  The one that got them together still hasn’t owned up to it.