I am not stupid....

July 1

Things are not better and are starting to revert back to the way they were.  I had a panic attack on Sunday, my husband and daughter were butting heads.  He was ranting and raving, because I didn’t yell at her also I was being yelled at by him.

July 5 

Today has not been good.  It’s been like walking on a tight rope.  That ache was back in my eye last night.  Things felt strained between us this morning.  We went and bought ceiling fans and all hell broke loose because I didn’t understand why or see the reason for leaving an elastic band around the glass.  Because it didn’t seem right in my head I kept asking about it.  He got upset.  He started yelling at me, I said I wasn’t going to work with him if he was going to yell at me, his response, fuck you.  I hate working with him because he makes me feel stupid when I don’t understand something.  He has never said that to me before though.  The way he said it just sucked the air right out of me.  The same way it sucked the air out when I heard on the phone “my name is Pat and he’s been living with me since he left on March 17″.  I don’t feel so good right now.  The ache that is inside me feels like it’s in my throat choking me.  A hard lump.  Why is it wrong if you don’t understand something to keep asking and talking about it until you do.