Final blow up. He was mad at her because she drew a picture in the frost on the van window. Final straw for me. I said "I think we should separate", I've never been more afraid in my life, afraid of what the future held, afraid of what would happen, where would we live, what would I do for money, how could I afford this. I just can't allow any more yelling at R.
Christmas
Not great. I bought myself some gifts and put them under the tree from the kids. Had no money and had to borrow it from my mom. Two weeks ago I had nothing for Christmas, he attempted to buy nothing. Mom loaned me the money so there would be gifts under the tree for everyone. He did thank me for making it a good Christmas Day. I'm drained. I feel like there is nothing left in me. It's too late for talking, it's too late for saying thank you. It just too late....
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